How Athletes Can Cope With Getting Benched
Summary: Being benched can be a difficult and emotional experience for athletes, but it also presents a valuable opportunity for growth. Instead of dwelling on frustration or embarrassment, athletes can use this time to observe teammates, learn from mistakes, stay mentally prepared, and strengthen mental toughness.
“BENCHED! I can’t believe it.”
When you are a starter and are benched, it often comes as quite a shock. There is often no warning when you are benched even when you might be having a bad game, an off night or a previous competition where you under-performed.
Thoughts Pop up in your Head Such As:
- “I’m better than him.”
- “I only had one bad game.”
- “The whole team is playing bad.”
- “Why am I being pulled from the game?”
- “The coach never liked me.”
- “Will I ever earn my spot again?”
Being benched can be embarrassing, especially if it happens during the middle of a game with your friends and parents watching.
When you are on the bench and anger, frustration and sadness permeate your body, it is difficult to focus, be a good teammate, cheer for your team, be supportive of your replacement and be mentally prepared in case your number is called.
However, it is especially important to be mentally prepared when you are benched.
Instead of taking it personally when you are bench, see it as an opportunity to improve your game.
Being on the bench may give you a different perspective on competing. You may see things in other players that you can add to your game. You can examine how other athletes approach the game and handle mistakes. This opportunity can be used to learn from other players’ mistakes.
Besides all those potential learning opportunities, when you are benched and forced to face adversity, you have a great opportunity to develop the skill of mental toughness.
If you Have the Wrong Mental Approach, you are Left with Nothing but Bitterness
Three-year starter and quarterback for the Buffalo Bills, Tyrod Taylor, was benched after a 5-4 start to the 2017 season while the team was still in the playoff hunt.
What could have been harder to accept for Taylor was that he was being benched for an unproven rookie who was drafted in the fifth round.
Taylor, a team captain, was having a respectable season throwing for 10 touchdowns and only three interceptions.
TAYLOR: “I’m obviously disappointed. I don’t agree with the decision, but ultimately Coach McDermott has a vision for this team, what he feels is best for the team, as well as the owners and GM. So I have to move forward and continue to be the leader and teammate that I am from a different role.”
Taylor wasn’t just being gracious after being benched; he was staying in the game mentally by finding a way to contribute and being mentally prepared for the next time he sees action on the field.
…And prepared Taylor was, when he was reinserted into the very next game in the second half throwing for 158 yards and one touchdown.
Within every adverse situation is an opportunity.
It is your choice if you seize that opportunity.
A Tip for Taking the Most Growth-Building Approach to Being Benched:
Of course it hurts to be benched. Allow yourself a short amount of time to sort through those feelings.
Then ask yourself:
- “What can I learn from being benched?”
- “How can I use this situation to improve my game?”
- “What can I contribute to the team even while on the sidelines?”
Talk to your coach about what you can improve to get back into the lineup. Set a plan to help you improve those areas.
And of course, you should never get benched for a sub-par mental game because that’s directly under your control…
4 Tips for Handling Being Benched and Staying Mentally Tough
1. Shift Perspective and Look for Opportunities
Instead of seeing being benched as a failure, use it as a chance to observe teammates, learn from their approach, and gain insights to improve your own game.
2. Focus on Mental Preparation
Being ready when your number is called is key. Stay mentally engaged by analyzing the game, cheering for teammates, and maintaining a positive attitude while on the sidelines.
3. Use the Situation to Build Mental Toughness
Adversity is a natural part of sports. Being benched provides a safe environment to strengthen resilience, emotional control, and patience—skills that help long-term performance.
4. Take Action to Improve
After processing initial disappointment, ask yourself:
- What can I learn from this experience?
- How can I contribute while off the field?
- What skills or areas can I improve to earn my spot back?
Discuss these points with your coach and set a practical improvement plan.
Contact us to learn about the options to improve your mental game.
Related Sports Psychology Articles:
- How to Visualize Your Upcoming Performance
- What’s the Best Program for My Young Athlete?
- Focusing on The Positives of Your Performance
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FAQ: Staying Confident and Ready When Benched
Q: How should I react emotionally when I’m benched?
A: Allow yourself a short time to process feelings of disappointment, then shift your focus to learning, improving, and staying mentally engaged.
Q: Can being benched be beneficial?
A: Yes, it can provide a unique perspective to observe teammates, learn from mistakes, and strengthen mental toughness.
Q: How can I contribute while sitting on the sidelines?
A: Support teammates, stay positive, analyze the game, and prepare mentally for when your number is called.
Q: What steps should I take to get back into the lineup?
A: Talk to your coach to identify areas for improvement, set actionable goals, and focus on practicing the skills that will help you earn your spot.
Q: Is mental attitude important when being benched?
A: Absolutely. A strong mental approach ensures you remain ready, engaged, and capable of turning adversity into a growth opportunity.
Dr. Patrick Cohn is an expert mental performance coach who has helped athletes for over 30 years enhance their performance. Dr. Cohn earned a master’s degree in sports psychology from CSUF and a Ph.D. from the University of Virginia, specializing in Applied Sports Psychology.